you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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