In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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