uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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