I have demons in me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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