I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize