How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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