Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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