Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
