your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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