Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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