Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
