apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
