i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize