You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
