Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
