If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
