yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
