As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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