We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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