I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
so much tequila, so little girl.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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