We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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