Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
