I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
