Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
