Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
