Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am spending my child support on dildos
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
