WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
