I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
