ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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