DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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