God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want nice things and good sex
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize