youre lurking in front of me
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
