omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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