dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
