i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
