He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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