my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
