whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
