There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
