i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
