??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
