you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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