Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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