ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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