ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
