Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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