He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
