ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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