that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
