when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
