bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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