You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize