Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
