Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Randomize