..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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