I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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