I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
