i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
