Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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