you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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