Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
