At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
